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I havenapos;t posted here in a while. ;A;

Yeah. I had fun getting ready with my friend Ashley but then when we got there, Kyle and Donovan were getting of of his momapos;s truck so it was like fuuuuck. Then we were supposed to cut a bunch with Garrett but Ashley didnapos;t want to so I had to go back to practically the end of the line to wait with her and Sean. Um then we got in and I danced a bit with Garrett but he was like all super in my face like he was gonna make out with me. DDDDD: So I ran away and then I found my other friends and we danced alot. But Kyle came over and I glared at him so he and his bf left. Then we dansened moar and the fire alarm went off. XD We all stayed in and kept dancing. Oh and one time I went outside I saw Kyle going in my way so I took the oppurtunity to shove into him. C: Also when I walked in I saw him so I flicked my hair in his face. Yeah. Oh man, my friend Cameron was just like, dancing along side everyone, so I held out my hand and he took it and spun me around and then we started grinding together. *o* That was so cooool. Then I danced with Chao which Courtney saved me from then the second time I saved my self by grabbing onto Elaine. XD Um. Yeah then I danceed with Grant and Chris and Cameron and Bradley. And Katie and Kyla and Melissa, Missy, Kaitlyn, Courtney, Emma, Olivia, Alysse, Kelsey, Audrey. Yeah. So many people in our group. It was awesome. Yeah but at the end I saw my really good friend dancing with Kyle so Iapos;m a bit mad at her. And then when we went out I saw him and glared at him for a bit and then when he was looking at me I mouthed fuck you and slid into the car all smooth like. I kinda wish I had ran over and punched him in the eye, but oh well. Then Ashleyapos;s grandpa took us to Nations but they didnapos;t have mikshakes so he was kind enough to go and ot McDonalds and get us some. XD He was a cool guy. And then we went home and I had trouble sleeping cause of Kyle. Dx

But then I thought of Brian and it was all good.


BTW what has happened since last post:

Jacob and I started going out, but I dumped him cause he was acting like Kyle.
Um. Thatapos;s it basically. XD

But yeah, I think Brian and i are going to play tennis today or weapos;r going to get icees at the gas station with Daniel. Iapos;ll have to call Dani.

But yeah, it was great. See you all latooor.
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kirk: way to go, past self. Letapos;s draw an astronaut rave, thatapos;ll be fun to color

...


kirk: hello, eyedropper tool, my little friend...

...

me: dude, seriously. Given how far ahead you are, you can totally take a nap. Weapos;d wake you up.

kirk: see? my sleep deprived brain has descended into paranoia. apos;NO, THATapos;S JUST WHAT YOU WANT ME TO DO SO YOU CAN ERASE MY FILES AND GET AHEADapos;.

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This feeling sucks.
I know Iapos;m breathing and moving and thinking, but it doesnapos;t feel like I am.
Itapos;s like when they slow the frames down in movies to show you the impact of whats going on, but in this case it doesnapos;t seem to want to speed up back to regular pace.
Itapos;s a good thing that I had today off so I didnapos;t have to call off.
Tomorrow itapos;s back to both jobs. Hopefully all goes well.

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Genius sometimes has interesting results.

--------------------------------
Open iTunes and pick a favorite (or random) song. Hit the Genius icon and list the first ten songs on the resulting playlist.
--------------------------------

Artist: Album
1) Motorcycle: As the Rush Comes (Armin van Buuren Universal Religion Mix)
2) ATB: Ecstasy
3) Delerium featuring Sarah McLachlan: Silence (DJ Tiestoapos;s in Search of Sunrise mix)
4) Delerium Leigh Nash: Innocente
5) Zero 7: Destiny
6) Thievery Corporation: Lebanese Blonde
7) Portishead: Sour Times
8) Imogen Heap: Goodnight and Go (Live Lounge in Toronto)
9) Conjure One: Sleep (feat. Marie-Claire Dapos;Ubaldo)
10) ATB: 9PM (Till I Come)

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Yesterday i was really ready to loose my cool with a few people. Sorry you buy cheap, you get cheap-simple. That was the theme yesterday. I swear. Some people like cheap-hell i like bargains-but i donapos;t like cheaply made. Therefore i will not buy it and donapos;t see why others insist on buying this horrible CRAP. This is why i donapos;t shop for clothes at walmart-people who have known me for oh...31 years should know this. Hell people whoapos;ve known me for 2 years know better. Spend a little extra and get something nice. And never ever think that crap retains value. If it was crap when you bought it, guess what? itapos;s still crap, just used. Donapos;t get pissy with me if i donapos;t agree with the cheapness. You like it, thatapos;s fine, i DONapos;T.

then the ruler of all things cheap threw a curveball at me, completely blowing me out of the water with generosity.

we used to have a store here called apos;playtogsapos;. It was beyond being a hole. Like crap that fell off a truck in the 60apos;s was still being sold there in the 80apos;s. We locals still refer to super cheap people or major white trash as apos;playtogs shoppersapos;.

iapos;m going to start refering some doll people are apos;playtogs shoppersapos;. My gawd. Nate could do a better face up on some of these dolls in the marketplace. Yet they still think they can get $200 for a head. Um no...$30 for a used wig that costs $25 from the store? um...no...iapos;m sorry, but shipping costs when you buy something are a loss. Deal. You are not going to be able to get that back on a resale.�and the paypal fees thing erks me. You CANapos;T�DO�THAT. I can see running a group order or doing a split-itapos;s courtesy to give the runner the fees so they donapos;t miss out. Yes, thatapos;s standard. But to put a price then say apos;+paypal feesapos; is just rude.

plus sales with doll friends-iapos;ve been more than generous over the years. But itapos;s not always the same when iapos;m the one in need. I cut friends deals, does that courtesy carry over to me? nope. Only�2 people have ever returned the favor. Others donapos;t seem to remember what iapos;ve done for them. Some donapos;t even give me as much as a apos;thank youapos;. Makes me feel all warm and squishy inside

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School has started, for us.

Day 1.
I was rushing to school for a 2 hours lecture, where I was carrying a 1100ML water, 3KG laptop, File with the whole weekapos;s notes, and my stuff.
The lecture was fine, kinda fun actually. But the bad thing is that Iapos;ll have to wait 5 hours for my French class.
Thank god the 5 hours waiting time is only this week (:

While waiting for French, Sonam and I slacked in the libaray to slack and finish FFA tutorial
I am a good student
Then we headed straight to class, we were 20minutes early, so we got bored.
We started to play apos;Guess whoapos;s the teacher.apos;
After making fun of numerous uncles and people, our teacher came.
O-M-G (really loud) HE IS FREAKING HOT
BUT, he is married -..-

On my way home, Polly called, we were talking and somehow, we spoke in French
The French conversation only consisted Alphabets and Numbers, cause thatapos;s what Iapos;ve learnt only
But Shulapos;s French was pro okay
Then half way through, her friend came to the phone and started speaking MRT
SUPER PRO

Overall, day 1 was great

Day 2.
Today morning�was horrendous, I didapos;nt know that there was a workshop at 9am
And I woke up at 915am...................
Besides this, I didapos;nt get the textbook I needed.

But things turned better in the evening,�I went to the dental clinic to have my tooth filled
(see kids, take care of your teeth I need to fill every 10+ years or so)
The dentist was a super nice lady Cause I was super nervous, she gave me a plush-doll to hug and she was so comforting la
I felt like a 5year-old visting a dentist. LOL
But the treatment wasapos;nt as expensive as I expected, itapos;s only $200+

So, now Iapos;m back with all cleaned and white teeth
Off to bed now Lessons will be starting at 10am
Gotta get my ass off the bed by 8+ am

xxoo
�

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brian spangler campbell

Yesterday one of my co-workers brought his infant son to the office. He was so cute but it re-opened all of those old wounds and longings for things that almost were. It still makes me ache when I think about that baby that I�lost, especially when it is uncertain whether or not I can even have another one. I�miss that dream that was lost in the divorce, the happy family, my own house, building a life with someone. I still ache for that. I�still dream of his face, sometimes they are nightmares but usually it is just reliving the hurt over and over again like a broken record in my subconscious. With everything that is going on in the world right now, those fears are amplified. I�donapos;t know what is going to happen to me tomorrow let alone 5, 10 years down the line. I�had vowed to myself after finding out that he never really loved me anyways that I was going to never think about or contact him again, but it seems unavoidable. I donapos;t even have any feelings towards the man anymore only the idea. It is like my cigarette issue I�can stop anytime, but then some weeks or months down the road I�pick them up again, then stop, on and on the same cycle. It is so idiotic. I�really hope that an economic equilibrium is restored. I am afraid for my job, copy writing is hardly a vital industry, and my newness in the position makes me feel particularly vulnerable. If I lost my job thereapos;s no way I�could pay my student loans. Really Iapos;m scared of losing my independence and being forced to rely on certain people whose resources are already stretched thin.


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